Face The Strange Is Going To Burn
by Midnight Crew
Summary: Your favorite pyromania is here to tell you a story, about a girl who's best friends with a sparkling vampire, a ninja, a different black haired anime character than the ninja, a wizard, and a hedgehog. Those guys are also part of her man harem.
1. Introducing the Crossovers

**Hey guys, MC here to review Face the Strange. Spades may show up here and there but this is just my own review. My counterattack to her Starkits Prophecy and Hidden Prophecies I guess.**

**This story the author says is a Naruto-Harry Potter crossover but since it's such a mesh of crossovers, I'm just going to put it in the Harry Potter location.**

**Beware majorly messed up crossovers. No fandom is safe. None.**

**Anyways lets go!**

Dally was riding the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts with her best friend Edwart Cullen. She had just found out she was a witch and a vampire with Edward and now they were going to school to train to be better.

**And here we have our first problem. Dally is a Vampire-Witch. Over used shit. But she's best friends with Edward Cullen, who is able to go to Hogwarts apparently. When (If I remember right, I haven't really watched or read much Harry Potter) they have rules about letting in non-wizards. Remus wasn't supposed to be allowed to teach. But Dumbledore likes to bend the rules for people he likes.**

**He's such a bastard.**

"Edward do you miss Bella?" I asked

"Grr I don't want to talk about Bella" Edward said

**Are you still married?**

"Oh are you guys fighting?" I asked.

"She is just being a cunt!" he yelled "She thinks I like you… um I mean…"

**So, worried that your boyfriend is falling in love with another girl, and said boyfriend going to school with said girl even though he's not supposed to be allowed in means she's a cunt?**

"Why would she say that?" Dally asked.

"Um well uh"

**Because Edward likes Dally.**

KNOCK KNOCK! Suddenly there was a sound at the door of the trolly

"I am going around with candy would you like to buy someone?" came the voice from the door.

**Hmm, I didn't know you could buy people on that train. Is that how Hogwarts gets so much money because I never see them doing any bake sales.**

"YES COME IN" yelled Edward, he wanted a distraction.

**Inside voices, Eddy, inside voices.**

The door slid open and in came a boy with big spiky black hair and black clothes and he had his arm wrapped up.

"My name is Hiei" he said,

**Not you! You were my favorite character in that show I don't even remember anymore.**

**...**

**What?! I watched it like in elementary school I don't even remember the other characters names.**

"I am selling these candies to pay for my trip to Hogwarts…" he showed them the tray and there were Burties Botts and Candy Frogs with cards on them.

**Um, Hiei, I don't know what they told you but the train trip is _free._**

Edward noticed that Dally was staring at Hiei and growled "We aren't interested go away."

"Oh okay" Hiei said "WAIT"

**"I need to kill you all before I go!"**

"I am would like to buy some Buties Botts!" said Dally enthusiastically and smiling. She reached for some and touched hands with Hiei… Edwad grred.

**Wow, jealous much Eddy? No wonder Bella thinks you're in love with her.**

"Oh um well… that will be… okay well it is free for you!" Hiei said he was flustered because he touched hands with Dally. He thought she was very cute.

**So much for working for the money you don't need.**

"THANK YOU!" said Dally.

Hiei left and Dally began to ate the beans.

"So do you like that guy?" Edward asked.

**"Yes, yes I do. He gave me free stuff."**

"Of course, he gave me free food! He is very nice" Dally said happy.

Suddenly they arrived at Hogwarts and uncame from the train.

**Uncame? That isn't a word.**

They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear and a pointy hat and he said, "Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!"

Dally and Edward got into a boat and went into the Great Hall with Dumbeldore. They sat down at a table coincidentally right next to there friend from the ship Hiei! Dally was also sitting next to a black and red hedgehog.

**Oh. You did NOT bring Shadow into this! No fandom is safe guys, no fandom is safe.**

"My name is Shadow" said the hedgehog.

Edward began to grr again. "Why are you all talking to Dally he said?

**"Why is Dally talking to a hedgehog? Why is a hedgehog in HOGWARTS?"**

"Calm down…" said Dally "He is my best friend, he gets a little territorial sometimes."

**I wouldn't consider that a _little_ territorial. Spade's getting a little upset when I can't hang out with her because I had plans with other sort-of-friends is territorial. Edward screaming at ever guy she talks to is possessiveness. **

"Oh okay" said Shadow.

"Aight!" said Dumbledore "I will now sort you into the hat"

**You all get placed inside a hat. Have fun.**

One by on each of the students (and hedgemice because there are some sonic characters) came up to the sorting hat. It told poems for the houses: there is Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

"Edward Cullen….." said the hat, "SLYTHERING!"

**So, Slytherin created a sub house called Slythering? Okay.**

Edward put on a silver and green scarf and sat down a table at the end. He winked at Delly as if to say "Come to my house"

"Shadow…. SLYTHERIN!"

Shadow put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Edward. "Gee I hope she gets Slytherin" thought Shadow.

"Hiei….. SLYTHERIN!"

Hiei put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Shadow and Edward. He could not stop grazing at Dally…

**Yep, so far three guys love her. Wonder what house Dally gets put into.**

Now it was Dally's turn. "DALLY" called the hat. She was beckoned and so went up. The boys did a drumroll with their feet.

"RAVENCLAW!"

**You broke the pattern, Dally. **

Dally's face fell off.. she could not believe it! The boys looked so disappointed. She sadly put on he black and blue scarf and sat at a table with a group of strangers…

**Hey, Ravenclaws are smart. **

Lucky she found her friends Charla, Annie and Meagan at her table! "Hey guys I didn't know you were witches!"

"Yes we are we just found out this summer" said Meagan. "I cant believe we are in the same house!"

**Uh, you don't just _find __out _your a witch, your born one. You get your letter from Hogwarts when your twelve. That brings me to a new question, the Hell did Dally and her friends get theirs when they're like 17? (I'm assuming that because Edward is probably 17)**

So there was good news after all. They began to head back to there home rooms when Hiei stopped Dally in the hall.

"Listen Dally I want to tell you something" said Hiei "I like you."

"I like you too Hieie" she said softly.

**Anyone surprised that the Mary Sue has a boyfriend in less than one day of meeting him? Anyone? No? Didn't think so.**

Then he kissed her and their lips met, like fire.

"Ok ok that's enough" said a voice. It was Proffessor Umbrudge the defense against dark arts teacher, "Go to your rooms"

**And go to your houses.**

"I'll see you tomorrow" said Hiei and kissed her again

"I SAID ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT" shouted the Proffessor

**Listen to the professor you idiots!**

"Bye!" said Dally

They left and from the darkness two eyes watched. IT was Edward he was mad…

**And jealous despite having a girlfriend who would do anything for him. And I mean _anything. _Bella would probably become a serial killer if Ed asked her to.**


	2. Dally is secretly forming her Man Harem

Dally sat in the common room or Ravenpaw

**Hey! Don't bring Ravenpaw into this! He's got enough problems thanks to Tigerstar.**

sketching a picture of Hiei and thinking of his kiss. Suddenly se looks up at the fire in front of her and a face appeared! The fire turned blue like water but it was fire and the eyes wee yellow.

**I just want to point out that water is clear, not blue. It can look blue but it's not blue. **

"hello" said the fire

"Mom?" asked Dally

Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn't have nipples.

**Wait, wait, wait, wait. Mystique? X-men? Shapeshifting chick? The biological mom of Nightcrawler? The Adopted mom of Rogue? _THAT _Mystique?! SHE'S DALLY'S MOM!?**

"now that you are a wizad I can give you my powers" said mystique. She handed me an orb and suddenly the room turned colors

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" screamed Della. She was in a lot of pain and sufferage.

**Okay, you can't give someone your mutant powers. You are _born _with those powers. Also, I think you mean 'suffering' not 'sufferage'. **

Then mystique disappeared leaving dally with a belt with an X on it. She was now a mutant.

**Again, you can't give someone your powers to make them a mutant. You are _born _with the powers.**

**I say this for the third time, no fandom is safe. Not even X-Men.**

Dally could feel a new rush hour of power in her organs. She tried it out and turned into a bat! "Well I could already do that cuz I'm a vampire lol"

***facepalm***

she thought to herself, so ten she tried it out again and turned into a a demon chaos chao! A little spiky ball was above her head.

**Just. Stop.**

"oh my fucking christ" she said, "I can turn into whatever I want with mustiques powers!"

**You shouldn't get those powers!**

She pulled out her blackberry and txted hiei, "HIEI I AM A CHAO" he came right over.

**I would have been questioning her sanity and if she was high and or drunk if she sent me that text.**

She turned back tho because it would be creepy if they kissed and he said it was really cool! He wanted the powers too so he asked the fire "can you give me those powers too?"

"NO!" mystique showered,

**I thought she left.**

"You are not my dauter and therefor I cannot pass the powers onto you however if you get married you will be my sun so we can do it then"

"You know what this means?" Hiei said, "If we get married I can have the powers"

**So, he just wants to marry her for the powers. What a great guy!**

But suddenly Dally began to think of the other guys in her life. There was Edward… he had Bella but he said something aout liking her on the trolly, and there was shadow, who looked at her like "I like you". She loved Hiai but she liked the others…

**And thus the man harem has officially started.**

"I don't think so I have cold toes" said Dally and she ran away crying

"NO YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE AT THE ALTAR" shouted Hiei in upset.

**Um, Hiei, you aren't even at the alter yet. She didn't even say yes to your question. And it's Cold Feet. not Cold Toes. **

"HAHAHA" laughed mystique "YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS"

**Take that, Hiei!**

And then she disappeared and so did Hiei cuz hes not supposed to be in Ravencalws dorm room lol wtf was he thinking.

**LOL WTF were you thinking when you wrote this?**

Dalli wept quietly to herself when all of the sudden a blonde walked out of his class and aprochjed her.

"What's wrong Dally?" he asked.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh my name is Draco Malfoy..." he said "Arf you ok?"

**Of course Draco is going to like her, it's a Harry Potter fic. Mary Sues adore him.**

Dally looked into Drake's eyes and saw that he cared, he was ful of compassion like a snake.

**...I don't think normal people would group a snake up with compassion...**

The boy held out a hand and pulled up dally up. "Do you want me to walk you to your class?" he asked

"I would love that" Dally said battering her ashes. They began to walk down the hallway together when a blast came out before htem. It was Edwart!

**Edwards brother, another lame vamp named Edwart.**

"DALLY!" he shouted "What are you doing with all these bois?"

**"I'm creating my Man-Harem. What else would I be doing?"**

"um edward its relly none of your business now let us go to the great hall" she snipped.

"IT IS DANGEROSU" he begun to raise his voice

**How?**

Just then draco pulled out his wand and him and the vampie got into a big fight. But DUmbledumdore came and broke it up

**Good job, Dumbledore, good job.**

"THAT'S IT" he shouted "You boys will cum have a talk with me in my office" and they left.

**Bout time.**

So Dally had to go to the great hall by herself but then shadow came and joined her. "What is a pretty girl like you doing all b yourself in the great depression all alone?" he asked her

**I didn't know Dally was by herself in the Great Depression.**

**...She might have caused the Great Depression.**

"well hiei is being an asshole!" she said and cryed again. Shadow put his paw on her leg and massajed her caressing "Its okay" he said "Its okay"

**Oh God! Nope! No bestiality! Go to Dumbledore! Get us away from them!**

Meanwhile hiei was updates punishing walls angerly! "WHY DID I HURT HER?" he aksed himself and then he thaught of a soluble. "I will win her back" he said.

**We know you will. She loves all of you.**

Meanwhile Edward and Draco were upstairs in Dumbeldores house. They were sitting on his bed cuz he said they were out of cars.

**Why not sit in a chair?**

"What do you think u punishment should be?" Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles.

**...So, Dumbledore is muscular? ...okay? **

Edward grred, his sences were tingling… that something was not wrong.

Suddenly dumbeldore put his hands on bot of their legs and said "I can think of something.." "OMG you faggot!" draco screamed. He tried to run but he couldnot…..

**Ew! ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew,! You spelt senses wrong, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!**

**I never thought I would ever want this but go back to the bestiality! Ew! Dumbledore! the images! *Smashes head against desk***


	3. Edward isn't great at planning revenge

**Because of content in this chapter I had to boost the rating up to M. If you think it doesn't need to be that rating let me know and I'll bring it down to T again.**

**Quick heads up, don't listen to music with Spades for an hour, it's her way of converting you into being a Simon Curtis fan with her. *Can't get Diablo out of head***

**But here is a little special: the place where I'm getting the chapters for this story is a site the author made for the story. She has an 'about me' section so here is what she has for that: **

Name**: **Dallas Philpott (AKA Dally)

**I always thought Dallas was a guys name. I didn't know girls were named that too. But this is basically proof that it's a self-insert fic.**

Age**: **16

InfO**: **I am the illustoris auther of the famed FaCe ThE StRaNgE! I began da story on this website calld deivatnart but when i got too popular for them theyh beaned me!

**I'm pretty sure they didn't ban you for popularity.**

now i dediced that i would make my own site and iti s gunna be waywayaa cooler (as you can see). with the hels of my friend Charla Krueger this site is made!

**Whom she also did a friend-insert for.**

Pic: - to the left is a pic of me... i have dark hair with red streaks and teh fangs as you can see are vampire

**You're not a vampire. If you want to see her picture, than look up xDallyx dot webs dot com. **

it is not a rel picture but my mom wotn let me post pics so i drew that for you so you can see what i look like and in the story.

Stats**: **SINGLE T_T cmt if u wanna change it and think i'm cute ;)

**That is a horrible way to find a boyfriend. We can't say you look cute, your picture is a CARTOON drawing.**

you can send pics via my forum but dont make them anime pics like mine

**"Only I can has the anime pics."**

**Now. Onto the story.**

Shadow and Dally were talking in the Great Hall when all of the sudden a cheetah ran in at warped speed, barreling through chairs and people in a frantic rush of hurry.

**I didn't know cheetahs had warp speed modes.**

"SHADOW! DALLY!" shouted the cheetah, suddenly it turned back into Charla (she is a anemograph and can turn into a cheetah)

**An anemograph is a machine that records on paper the speed, duration, and sometimes also the direction of the wind. I'm pretty sure Charla isn't a machine and if she is she wouldn't have been able to run.**

"SOMETHING IS GOING UPSTAIRES"

**What's going upstairs? And why should you guys care if something is going upstairs?**

Shadow put them all on his back because he is fastest even faster than the lepoard

**What leopard? There was a cheetah not a leapord.**

and they ran upstairs and busted down Dumble's door just in time to see him unzipping his genes.

**Sorry Dumbledore but I'm pretty sure you can't unzip genetics. I tried. It doesn't work.**

"NOOO! EDWARD!" Dally shouted… she loved Edward and would never see him get hurt.

**You love Edward to now. Well we already know she loves all the boys.**

She ran at Dumbledore and headbutted him. He flew back into the wall and fell into his phenix, and they both exploded into thin air.

**He is the master of escape. But that was one pretty strong headbutt. **

"FUCK WE LOST THEM" exclaimed Draco, "We have to get that basterd fired from Hogywarts"

**It's no use. He doesn't work at Hogywarts. He works at Hogwarts.**

The three of them mated downstairs

**Ew.**

to Professors Macnoggle's orifice

**EW!...which orifice? Wait! EW! DAMN IT SPADES! I GOT A GUTTER MIND THANKS TO YOU!**

_**(*Far away you can hear Spades laughing like a maniac.*)**_

and demanded an interview. She opened the dory to her chamber and said "Come in dearest stunts! What can I ass you in?"

**What can I ass you in? that makes no sense!**

"We need to get a certain pedofile fired from this plays," said Harry, "He tried to rape some students including me"

**Wait! Harry? When did you get here?**

"Oh no don't worry thought I will have it all took care of," she said and bamfed them out.

A week later a blog was posted aboot it in the bathrooms that said "A teacher has ben fired to improper actinic against a students, this teacher is Professes Umbrige"

**First of all: A blog in a bathroom? Second: Professor Umbridge?! What the hell is she still doing there? **

"WAT" they all mounted in unicorns, "THEY FIRED THE WRONG TEACHER"

**_This _is why you tell the person _who_ ****the pedo is. What do you expect you said a 'certain' pedo. She used it as her chance to get rid of the bitch.**

"Wait keep reading" said Shadow, "It said more"

"There is a new teacher to be hired in place of this one and his name is Jack Skeleton".

**NOPE!**

**You are not brining Nightmare Before Christmas into this! Nope! Not my fav skeleton! Nope! Wait..._OH _it's Jack _Skeleton, _not Jack _Skellington_. Its all good. *Blissfully pretends it's not actually Jack Skellington***

"Yay!" I said, "Professor Skeleton will know what to do! Let's go to his class and tell him about that faggot Dumbledore."

**I can understand your anger but he's not at school anymore. You're going a little far for revenge when he didn't actually rape you.**

They whaled over and came into his office. He was very skinny and had a skull for a head and no eyes but teeth on them.

**Yep! hahaha nope not my jack.**

"Hello students, what can I halp you with?" he asserted.

"Dumbledore Is gay!" blarted Edword.

**_So?_**

"Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay," he said, "I am bisexual myself."

**He's got a point.**

"No but he tried to FINGER US" said Draco, he turned blue a little because he was embarrassed. Draco is straight and it's Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.

**One: he tried to rape, not finger you. Two: blue? That would mean he doesn't have air, I think you mean red, and three; yes! It's Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve!**

"OH FUCK" said Jack. They exclaimed to his the whole story and he said, "Don't worry I will take acres of this. Just go to your rooms and sleep for tonight. Until then incest Dumbledore is not here there are no rules…"

**Incest. I think you put it there on purpose. And are you suggesting they do what I think you're suggesting?**

So they left and went to their rooms, except for Dally And Hiei who hung out outside where the dorm rooms started.

"Did you hear what Proffessor Skeleton said?" Hiei asked, "I know that you are mad at me but there are no rules and maybe I can make it up to you."

**"Give me two hundred dollars and we'll call it even."**

"How would you do that?" asked Dally.

Just then he pushed her against the Ravenclaw satellite

**I didn't know they had their own satellite. **

and because to kiss her gastricly. She put her tongue in his mouth and felt his teeth. He cut his tongue on her fangs and the blood tripped down his chin… he was turned on by it and suddenly Dally felt something against her.

"Hiei is that your wand?" she asked.

"No… that is my penis, Dally…" he said.

**Okay, yep, this is going up to M rating.**

"OMG you're so huge! You're like 6 inches!" she shouted, gasping for breath.

"No I am 6 inches flassid, right now I have a bonner so I am 10 inches," he said.

**I have the feeling I should be jealous...but for some reason, I'm not.**

Della was at a lost for words. She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis.

**Oh, you have a dick to now, Dally?**

"Let's go to your room," said Hiei, "I want to have sex with you."

**Obviously.**

So he said the password and they went into Ravenclaw, and went to Dally's bedroom. A couple Ravenclawers were like, "Dally what he is doing here?" but she turned Hiei into a broom with her powers as a mutant so they didn't notice anymore.

**So they didn't notice her turning a guy into a broom. For being Ravenclaws, they sure aren't observant. **

Then she unturned him back into a Hiei when they got onto her bed. They started kissing and taking their clothes of.

"Do you have a birth control?" asked Dally as he started to put it in.

**That's something you're supposed to have not him.**

"No… I didn't think to bring somes." He said frowning but he kept doing it.

**You bring condoms, not Birth Control.**

"Hiei please I don't want to have a baby… you can get pregnant even from your first time," she said kissing him and moaning as he went faster and faster.

**Oh! Really? I didn't know you can get pregnant after your first time-wait, I did know that.**

"It will be okay… you can just use your power to turn my cum into water and then it wont be babies," he said as he started to tittyfuck her. Her boobs were huge so they could wrap them around his weiner like bumblebees.

**Bees...*Millions of Bees jokes fly through head, including the 'NOT THE BEES' one***

"That sounds like a good idea," she said as he splurted on her neck, then flipped her over and started rubbing himself on her back, "I can also use my powers to turn stuff into kinky sex toys!"

**Okay, mental images. Ew.**

So they continued… but just from the first chreptar 1, Edward was watching from the darkness… he had used his vampire powers to turn into a bat and they didn't notice him fly in.

**Eddy is a peeping tom now. And a pervert. Wow.**

HE was angry… he was tumors…

**Edward? You have tumors?**

he was so mad at both of them that he used his wizard powers to turn the water back into cum. He would have his revenge!

**So, you make the girl you love get pregnant with another guy as revenge? Totally smart. Not.**


	4. New Members and The Death Toll begins

**I'm back. Sorry for the impromptu break. Here, have a chapter.**

Hiei and Delly woke up to the shutter of Hogwarts students cheering and lollygagging. They jumped out of bed and ran into the Great Hall where cowards of people were crowding around a girl.

**Didn't they get dressed or anything?**

"What is going on here?" Hiei dementored to know.

**Dementored. I should use that in place of demanded now.**

"Wait… that's Bella!" said Delly as she peered through the congregation.

**Delly: Dally's sister. The new star of the story. But what's Bella doing here? Don't tell me she's a witch.**

Just as Delly said, Bella (Edward's girlfriend)

**Twilight fans know.**

was there and ironaldly she was giving a speech about why teen parentcy is illegal.

**It's not illegal.**

"Well it's a good think we turned that water into wine!" said Hiei winking at her, and then they took seats in the front.

**Sorry, Hiei, Jesus did that. You turned your semen into water.**

Edward was sitting nearby and so was Shadow. All the students had to go to this meeting because it was majority for there classes.

**WHY is Bella giving a speech?!**

In the back of the rom, Proffessor Snaps was watching Bella carefully… he did not get the memo about her coming to give a pubic speech and so from afar he thought that it was Harry Potter's mom!

**...How do you make that assumption?**

When Bella's speech was over, she walked to the backyard to board her 2003 Chevy Pullover when a bag flew over her head."

**Didn't she drive a 1963 Chevy StepSide C-10 pickup?...Don't give me that look!**

"I have you now, Lilly Anne Potter!" he says and soufflés her into the trunk of his jeep.

**...So Snape is more obsessed over Lilly here than in the series.**

He sped off into the night. Edward grred… again his sences were tingling in the moment's heat.

**Edward can only growl it seems.**

"Listen everyone" he said, "We need to save Bella. Something horny has happened to her and it is up to us to save him!" Everyoned knotted.

**So, _now _you give a shit about your girlfriend who is probably about to be raped!**

"But we need someone who is good with a sword…"

Hiei was good with a combat but he was feeling fangled from the sex he had with Dally (since there were no rules they had sex over one thousand times),

**H-how is that possible?!**

so he did not raise is hands. In stead he deciphered to make a suggestion box.

"I think that Link should do it," asked Hiei.

**LINK IS HERE?! WHY! WHY! ZELDA RESCUE HIM!**

Just then a blonde boy with a green hand and leggings came upon a gryphon. He was wearing a sword and he had pointy ears. He swirled his weeping and slammed it into the ground with his foot. "LETS KICK SOME ASS HE SAID!"

**Link, why are you quoting some guy?**

And then they wee on the way. Snape was fucking the shit out of Bella, but since she was blinde (the bag had punctured her eyes)

**HOW?!**

she thought it was Edward and moaned punctually.

**...Why would Edward even do that to you? **

Edward bust into the room and saw them making woopie and had a look of sheer whore on his face. He balls dropped, he could not believe what he was saving.

**Wait...heh...so up until this moment, your balls hadn't dropped yet? **

In his head he saw that his doorest Bella was in danger.. but in his yes he was seeing that it was not the chaste at all. Bella was indeed riding Snape's cock with her pussy, and she happy.

He ran away as fast as his feet could carry him.

"EDWARD WAIT!" Dally shouted. She wanted him to come back and see treason,

**Yes! See treason! TRAITOR!**

because she saw from the way Bella's eyes were gourged out that she did not know, but then she remembered Bella was a cunt and told Edward, "I think we should kill them both…"

**...just wow...**

SO Edward came back to the room while the both of them was still humping and attacked Bella first. He sunk his teeth into her neck like the titanic and all at once she turned to stone. Dally grabbed Snape's dick and threw it out the window, and then Link stabbed him through his heart and lungs.

**You killed your girlfriend, who is essentially being raped. What a shitty boyfriend.**

The scene it was messy… blood and guts was everywhere… and Bella and Proffessor Snape were dead. It was in this step that they knew they could depheat Dubledore.

**Seriously? Just because you killed Snape and Bella, you think you can kill a badass wizard?**

When Proffessor Skellington heard the ipod, he rushed to the show right away. "Fucking god damnit," he swore, "Now we will need a new teacher again."

He thought to himself for a few seconds and then said, "Edwart! You can be our new tether!" He smeared warmly.

**...What qualifications does he have to teach?**

Edward was shocked and aroused. "I can not believe this… it is such a hammer!" He accepted the medal and went to clash to teach. Since he was a vampire he knew the most about potions.

**...Uh, no. That makes no sense.**

"This is good news for Ed!" said Dally. "Aright gangbang lets go over whose in our gang: We have Edward, Me, Hiei, Link,Shadow the Hedgemouse, Jack Sellingtons, Me, and who else?"

**You said 'me' twice now. So you count for more than one person?**

"I think that we should get Sasuke," said Link, "He is is in Griffindoos, but if we tell him Dumbledore is a pedofile he will probably want to kill him two."

**WHY IS SASUKE IN THIS!? **

"That's an extortionist idea!" said Bella, "I think we should do it."

They all ran to the Gryffindoor commonplace and barged in on Saspluke, he was changing and half naked (FANGASM).

**I honestly never liked Sasuke.**

Everyone ran out a once cuz it was embearassing except Hiei who came out a few minutes later.

"WHAT THE HELL HIEI" shouted Dally, "Do you like him?"

**"What? So just because I come out a little later than you, it translates to me liking him?!"**

"I don't think so," said Hiei, "It was kinda hott though…"

"THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT" barged Edward, "We need his help and so it doesn't matter what clothes he's wearing"

They uncame back in and he was closed. "What did you want gays?" said Sasuke, "Sorry I was studying."

"We need your help to kill a certain pedofile" said Shadow in a low but gruggly voice, "You are a ninjask and therefore good with killing. You also have powers. And a wizard."

**WHY IS SASUKE A WIZARD?!**

"I will join your team!" said Sasuke he was tying his shoes. "When will we go on the missionary?"

**I didn't know you were religious.**

"RIGHT FUCKIN NOW" said Bella.

**Bella?! What?! Your alive?! RUN! GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE THEY KILL YOU!**

And so they all ran off into the night to defeating the faggot Dumbledore with the powers!

**Such...hate. Wow.**


	5. Edward is a Douche

**Blah, blah, blah, welcome back, blah blah blah, Face the Strange, Blah, Blah, Blah, Fairy Tail, Blah, Blah, Blah, JeLu is awesome. Blah, Blah, Blah, Just read the story, Blah.**

Dally, Hiei, Shadow, Edward, Jack, and Sasuke left off trying to find Dumbledore.

**Jack. Go. Just...go. Halloween Town needs the Pumpkin King. Sally needs her Pumpkin King.**

They were gunna get him frisked from the school because he tried to warp some boys. They looked in Hoodmeade, the chamber of secretes.

**...Why are they in the Chamber of Secrets? How do they know of the Chamber of Secrets? **

**This reminds me...how old is Sasuke in this? **

**I'll look it up and tell you at the end.**

And even used the map that Harry's dad left him of Hogwerts but could not see him for shite.

"Wait" said Draco "I know where the fuck we will find that bastert."

**Where?**

They got in the car and drove to the mall by the school.

**There...is a mall...next door to Hogwarts.**

First they checked American Engle, then they checked Wet Seal, then they checked Tifanny and Co-op,

**Should I question why there are those stores in this?**

but they finally found him in the queerest of all stores… Holster.

**Yeah. And that isn't a queer store. Just so you know.**

They all pulp out their wands and did cruses on him.

**Isn't that like, illegal?**

He flew in the air and wobbled like a booby, and hit a lot of slaves on the way down. The employee working was getting liberated.

**So, Hollister employees are slaves. **

**That explains why they look like they hate it so much.**

"YOU WILL NEED TO LEAVE IF YOU SIMPLE PLAN ON KEEPING THIS UP" he roared, yeling.

**Simple Plan. I get the feeling she put it in on purpose. **

But no one heard him over the sound of acne going on.

**Because zits are the loudest thing ever.**

Dumbledore knew how to excape however because he was a master of the escapes, and he clicked is heels together and said danished.

**He is apparently Houdini. **

"WE WILL NEVER CATCH HIM" cryed Draco, just then Dallystarted getting morning sickness all over the store.

**Ew. Ew.**

"Oh my god…" Draco said, looking at the puke. "Are you…. ….?"

**"I ate a really bad donut on the way here."**

"This can't be…" Daldo said, "Hiei… I thought…!"

"THIS IS NOT MY FAULT," said Hiei. Just then he started to show his true colors… "it wasn't me… I swear to god it wasn't me…"

**He turned it into water, remember. It's not his fault Ed turned it to semen**

"It WAS you," Dally insisted. She could not believe he was denying it.. they had sex a hundred times and she never had sex with any of the ones. "YOU CAME IN ME. I TOLD YOU YOU CAN GET PREGNANT EVEN FROM ANAL."

**You hear her girls and boys. You can still get pregnant from anal.**

**Also, TMI. TMI.**

Hiei got bat… the others just stared down ventmently. "Hiei is this true?" said Edward coyly as if to pretend nothing happened, "Did you impignate her?"

**Oh, Edward just shut up.**

"WELL YOU WOULD KNOW," said Hiei, "YOU FUCKED BELLA… AND HTEN YOU KILLED HER."

**He's got a point. What about your daughter, Ed. What about her?**

Edward was baken aback. "Is that true?" asked Dally, "Edward… I can't believe you…" she started crying.

**Dally, Bella was Edwards _girlfriend_, of course he fucked her!**

"Why are you crying?" asked Hiei. "I.. I wanted to be Edwerds first time.." she admits.

***Face palm* He's like, a hundred years old Dally! I'm pretty sure he hasn't been a virgin for a while.**

Everyone was in raw. "Dally… I … I need to text you something" he looked at Hiei then pulled out his motorolla. "WHAT ARE YOU SYAING?" hiei demanded. He did not like that their was a private convo happenin. A text popped up on Dally's screen.

**I would be mad too. **

"I did not have sex with Bally," Edward said, "You can still be my fart"

**Yes you did Edward, you have a daughter. Also, why would anyone want to be your fart?**

Draco put Dally in a wheelchair,

**Where'd he get a wheelchair?**

"Listen everyone I think we should put KTFD (Killing The Faggot Dumbledore)

**Shut it, you homophobic brat. **

on hold because Dally's water could beak any time and its important we send her to the hospital wins."

**...She's been pregnant for what...A few days? I think you skipped health class because she still has another nine months to go.**

They returned back to the school and Dally sat in the hospital bed. All kinds of tubes were attracted to her arms and legs to keep her populated.

**Populated...by what?**

..it reminded Edward of when Bellala was in the hospital. But he didn't want to think about her… she was dead now. Now it was al about Bella.

**Yep, now isn't the time to think of Bellala, he had to focus on Bella.**

"I'm going to go get you some medicine," said Hiei, and kissed her on the forehead, leaving.

IT left her all alone with Edward. He sat next to her on the bed. "You're going to be oakaki, Dally," he said, his voice sultry and soothing, and he put is hand on her leg under the cover. She was only waring a hospital gowns so it was her bear white leg.

**I think we would know shes wearing a hospital gown while in a hospital.**

"Edward…. Is that your wand?" she asked, feeling to weak to check.

**Do you always assume when something touches you it's a wand?**

"No… it is my hand… how are you feeling?" he asked her. His eyes were shinning gold… "Are you feeling… like being my first?"

**Right now? _Right now? _Seriously?! In a hospital?! **

He learned in to kiss her… but she turned, so he only got the cheek. "You're 16… are you sure you're a virgin?" she asked him doubtedly.

**...Um, Edward is like 100 years old. But I'm pretty sure he's not a virgin. Also, not all sixteen year olds have sex when they're sixteen!**

"I am sure," he said, "I haven't even used tongue with Bella."

**I feel bad for Bella. She had a shitty boyfriend.**

"Well… I am with Hiei. He won't like it if we do that," she said, shriving a little.

**She's got a point.**

"I thought you said you wanted to… you can't blue balls me," he said flatly, "Seriously if you don't put out youre a bitch just like Bella."

**_Okay_, first, she has a _boyfriend, _two; so if you don't put out you're a bitch? Is that why you killed Bella?**

**Edward is a douche.**

Dally started to cry… why was he being so mean to her? She thought. Hiei came back in though and Edwart porned off. "What is he so mad about?" Hiei asked. "I don't know," Bella lied.

**Bella, when did you get here? RUN!**

"Listen… Dally… I need to talk to you about something," Hiei said, sitting on the bed where Edward shat. "Do you remember when I stayed in Sasuke's room with him?"

**For that extra five minutes?**

Dally's stomach fell off… she got nervous, "Uh… y-y-yeah…"

"Well… the truth… is that… we… Sasuke and me…. We…."

"OUT WITH IT" she said. "We… we… we had sex!" Hiei was so embarrassed.

"WHAT?!"

**How? You were only a few minutes later than here! HOW DID THEY NOT HEAR THE NOISE!?**

The hole school could hear the scream…

**I don't blame her for screaming.**

**Oh, and Sasuke is twelve in this. While everyone else is like 16-17.**


	6. Platinum Billy

Dally was cryeing in the hospital.

**Yes, cry, let me collect the tears. My English teacher told my class that the tears of high school students are the main ingredient in immortality. I just need your tears. **

Hiei ran away cuz if he stayed the narks would think he had beat her.

**I doubt it.**

Shadow came into the room. "What's goin on?" he asked while he asked while

**Saying things double saying things double**

"Hi-hi-hi-hiei and I are th-th-thorough!" she sobbed, "It t-t-t-urms out hes a f-f-f-faggot just like D-d-d-dumbledooooreeee!"

**If Hiei wan't to fuck a twelve year old boy, than let him. I think it's wrong and sick because it's a twelve year old. I think that's more so why you should break up with him. Not because of sexuality. **

and then she wailed all over. "Oh Dally I'm so sorry," he circumcised,

**Ouch. **

"But listen, weave just been given an anonymous tit about where Dumbledore is… so we have to go…

**Random tip is random. Good timing too.**

do you want wand of us to stay here with you while you birth?"

**She's only a few days pregnant! Well...this is a Demon-Vampire spawn, so maybe it only takes a few days?**

**No. That's giving the author too much credit.**

"No… you must go to fight the good fight,"

**It's not a good fight, its just a bunch of kids wanting to kill an old pedophile instead of going to the police about it.**

Dally said bravely, "Besides I think I still gotta lil bit bonger cuz the baby stopped kicking…"

**It's dead!**

"Is it dead?!" asked Shadow bewigged.

"No because we took an x-ray.. its ok its healthy, just GO NOW!" she commanded.

**I really doubt its been nine months.**

So the boys ran off.

**Boys? There was just one hedgehog.**

The place where the tip was that Dumbledore was was in the Hagrid's house. Apparently Hagrid and Dumbledore are cloys friends like bfff (buttfucking friends forever)

**...Oh God...I can never see the letters BFFF again...**

and so they heard from his dog, Axle,

**I thought his dogs name was Fang. Then again Hagrid has a lot of pets. **

**A lot of dangerous pets.**

that he was in there (the dog learned to speak from bean around wizards so much) and THEN THEY WERE OFF to where Dumbledore was.

**I doubt that's why. You could have said the dog had a spell put on him that let him speak. That would have been better.**

But the journey there was awkwart because Hiei and Edward weren't getting along. They kept glaring at each other and then Link noticed "Come on guys what is going on guys?" he asked being a good guy and breaking it up.

**Link...you're too good...**

"Hie is a shit," Edward grred. "Yeah well at least I didtnt KILL MY FUCKEN GIRLFRIEND" Hiei shouted.

**He's got a point, Edward.**

"LOOK LOOK CALM DOWN NO NEED FOR VIOLINS," Link stated with reason

***Holds up a violin* Whatcha got against violins!**

But then Sasuke thought of something. "OMG fuck… I forgot…" he whisper… "Listen, I Know why we can't defeat that pillow biter…"

**Pillow biter?**

"Why?" asked Sasuke

"Its because… remember how Harrys mom and dad saved him through love?" he answered

"Yes that's when Cedric died" Shadow said soberly…

**You guys didn't know Cedric, he did not die when Harrys parents died. **

**He also has the same exact face as Edward.**

**Yep guys, Edwards actor also played Cedric.**

Megan cryed at the mammary…

**What?**

"Well… it's the same here. We need two people who love Dally the most to savor her… and mix together."

**Wait, wait, wait? Save her? She's in a hospital. She's not in danger. The hell is going on here?**

Everyone looked at each other. They all wanted to say the loved her the toast, but they all knew… it was Hiei and Edward, the nemesis's.

**Go make out and get over it.**

"You know what to do…" said Sasuke, "Do it if you really love her like yu sau"

"Okay… are you ready, Hiei?" Edward said. He was kinda scared, it was a big step…

**What...Seriously what's going on?!**

"Yes….. …. …." Hiei said, "Ahem….. FUUUUUUUUU-"

"SIIIOOOONNNNN" said Edward

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they said in unison

**...**

BAM! They mixed together to form…. PLATINUM BILLY!

**Platinum Billy? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!**

It was Billy Martin (from Good Charlotte) with platinum blonde hair. "Omg…" said Sasuke, "That's SO wrong… but sooo hot!"

***Shudders* Why are fangirls like this?**

Platinum Billy makes a face… "omg I feel so powerful…"

**I feel so sick.**

"I think its time for the fight…" said Shadow now feeling condo about the team. "But wait… your strong enough… I can go back to the hospital to see Delly rigtht?"

"Well yea I guess… well get your back Shady," said Plat. B.

Shadow went back to the hospital. He saw Dally was all alone raiding "Cosmo".

**What, you're raiding Cosmo? See she didn't need to be saved.**

There was an article about sex tips and it kinda make him blush.

"Hey… Dally how are you failing?" he asked her truly

"I'm good.. will you sing me a song?" she asked.

**I don't think Shadow is a good singer.**

"okay," he said and then he warmed up his vochal cords:

"youre my honey bunch sugar puff

Hubby ubby umpkins

Youre my sweetie pie

Youre my cuppy cake gumdrop

Shnoogum boogum you're

The apple of my eye…"

"awww," she cooed, "That was so sweet… will you give me a hug?"

**And Shadow is her new boyfriend?**

He went over to hug her.. .he felt the bumpof her belly but even more then that he felt her large breats. The room was cold (from Edward being in there he made it cold) so her nipples breast against his chest… He had to pull away quick befire he got hard…

**All straight and bi men in this world apparently get a hard on when touching Dally.**

"I have to go," he said "they need me at chagrin … sorry.."

**You just got permission to see her. They're going to question you if you come back.**

So she was all alone… again in the wing.

**Get a nurse. Read a book.**


	7. One Evil Bitch Please

Shadows back. They were gonna plan their attack on Dumbledore…

**"I'll go right, you go left. Platinum Idiot goes center."**

**"Roger!" **

**"Si!"**

**"Fuck you"**

"What is a fucken faggots biggest weakness?" asked Shadow since he missed their talk already.

***Groans and slams head against desk***

"Its gay anal surf," answored Dally,

**Wait, when did you get here?! We left off with you Forever Alone in the hospital!**

"if they don't take garyatric pills then if we put enough water in their ass their intenstines and stomach wil leak out…"

**Ew...EW...EW! **

"It is a slow painful dead," Sasuke continued…

"Because it will make youre eyes fall into your tonstils and it all falls out at the bottom," Link finished.

**Seriously! EWWWW! WHY DID I DECIDE TO REVIEW THIS SHIT!**

"Oh is that because their asshoes are all loosened out from the sex?" Shadow asked. Link noddd. Link bachelors from college so he knew about priest.

**So, you're a priest? WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU ON HYRULE!?**

Sasuke was also a healer but not unlike as much as Link.

**So, basically like Link.**

**Sasuke, you're twelve. YOUR A NINJA! GET OUT OF THERE!**

"So how ae we going to get that much water in his ass?" Shadow asked "We don't have enough receptickles to put them in…"

**Why would you even want to see his ass?**

"Platinom Billy has the power to shoot that out of his hans," Lank expend more.

**Wow, very Plot Device power.**

"He little red and then it just kind of goes from there…"

They all took deep breathes before kicking down the dore with a mighty PUSS

**_PUSS? _What are you doing there! Go back to Shrek!**

and where there was supoxxed to be Dumbleore there was only Haggid with his back face to the crowd in a reclining chaira with the TV playing "Spin the Wheel of Excitement" ".

**Isn't it Wheel of Fortune?**

"WHERE THE FUCK IS DUMGBLEDORE" howeled Billy, he was losing love for the world

**Really? I happen to be leader of that club. Here's an invitation.**

and they started tumoring back into Edward and Hiei.. they knew it was a trap.

**Does anyone care? Nope.**

Edwad and Hiei were too toirtle from the evolution and laid on the dirty floor while Shadow spun the chair around to deal a DEAD HAGRID. There was wands coming out of all the sausages of his body …

**So, Hagrid has a lot of sausages in his body? And wands? I don't even know if they mean actual wands or penis' anymore!**

"OH JESAS", gasped Sasuke he has a weak stomach and pubed all over the already dead corpes. "WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THONG"

**Well...is it a sexy thong? If it is some people might do it.**

Just then Axle came out from under the table… and turned mack into Mystiqeu!

**So that's why Axel could talk. **

"MYSTIQUE!" Hiei said he hed a venditto against her for not giving him those powers…

**_You don't deserve the powers._**

"Yes it is I," she smocked, "You really think you would get aware that easy?

**Get away? From what?**

DYMBLEDORE AND I ARE WOKING TOGETHER NOW! HAHAHAHA!"

**Bitch, please. That is a lame combo. Now, if Mirajane, Laxus, and Mystogan were working together, that would be a threat. They would wipe the floor with you idiots.**

"YOU FUCKING BITCHASS WHORE" Hiei swore

**I doubt Dally likes you talking to her mom that way.**

and he charged at her full blast but she turned into quickly Dally and he couldn't do it… he stoped because he loved her… even if he did cheetah on her.

**He did a cheetah on her. Ew.**

"I cant do it…" he admittoed… "But if Dally knew hat you were doing she would be TURNING IN HER GRAVE!"

**So Dally is dead?! YES!**

"I don't fucking give a Christ about Dally!" she laughed

**Then why did you give her powers?**

"She has the powers and you don't and Dumbledore and I are going to RAPE DRACO."

**Its all about Draco.**

"SHIT" explained Link "We did loose him… WHERE IS THE HELL IS HE?"

**You just now noticed?**

"WE TAKE HIM TO AZCABIN" she said and then with a bluff fof wind she man a torpedo and flew out exploding the building.

**That could have been such a kind of cool image. But nope.**

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THE FIRE" they shouted and dived out…

**He's in a prison not a fire.**

Sasuke, Hiei and Link maid it out but when they turned they saw the burnging ashes of Shadow trying to crawl out of the carpet…

**HOW THE HELL DID THE FASTER ONE IN THE GROUP NOT MAKE IT?!**

he was holdin on for dear lite but the flames endulged him, taking him deeper to death…

**SHADOW!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Link tried to run after him but they hallowed him back…

**You killed Number 3 on my Favorite Hedgehog list!**

They went up to Dalla's room in the hospital… she was sketching agun this time a picture of Shadow.

**Oooh the irony!**

"Oh hello," she squirted,

**What part squirted? *Shudders***

"Shadow sung me the nicest song today."

**You're making them feel like shit now. **

**Keep talking.**

"Dally…" Hiei started… "We have bad news… something has happened…"

Again the whole school could hear the scream thin time in angus.

**Angus? Should I question it?**


	8. Nine Months Do Not Exist

They took a day off of KTFD

**Kill The Fucking Day.**

so they can give Shadow a pope buries.

**Pop Buries? **

They didn't put him in a koffin because it reminded Edward and Dally to much of bed

**Well, it's rude and weird how it reminds the two of bed.**

and theyd get sleepy so they put him in a boat they took to Hogwarts and have him a Viking wedding.

**Which would have made sense if Shadow was a Viking. **

They set it on fire like how they died and sent him into the ocean where they ware mermaids.

**Dally is a mermaid now? What? I am so confused.**

They all took a sec to say something in his salvation..

"I was always kinda jealous of him, " sais Edwarf, "He was so fast and kind."

**Shadow was fast, yes, but he wasn't exactly nice. He was an anti-hero. A villain at certain points. I think you're mixing him up with Sonic.**

"He took a sacofice to save us… for that I Ma always thankful," said Hie.

"Wish I woulda got to know him better…" said Link, "He couldhave been one my top friends"

**I still think you should go home.**

"He was so young," said Draco, "I miss him alteady."

**Young? Uh, Shadow was like 50+ years old.**

Now it was Dally's turn… she was in her wheelcheese and had to bring the IC down with her so she was still all connected with links.

**Whats a wheelcheese? Cheese on wheels?**

"Shadow was one of my best friends…" she bean, "I wouldn't have trade him for anyone in te world, even for the rarest pokemon, or the biggest chaos emerald.

**Yeah, it shows you're a shitty friend when you trade your friend for a Pokémon or Chaos Emerald.**

**Though I would definently trade Spades for an Arceus. **

He had a handsome voice and could have really made something of itself."

**He already did make something of himself, he has a video game, is in comics and tv shows. The dude is very popular.**

Her speech impediment made everyone cry, it touched their sharts.

**I didn't know she had a speech impediment, and why would it make everyone cry?**

"We need to extract our revenge…" Edward grred, "The ysaid they were hiding out in Azcraban… all we have to do is get arrested and then we will be there to KILL THEM."

**Great plan? Nope.**

"Ok but how will we get out after?" asked Sasuke.

**Exactly.**

"Dally can use her powers to transform us all into something to escape or like death eaters so we can disquiseourselfes and it will work," said Hiei.

**But then you would b**

"ARE YOU FUCKEN OUT OF YOUR MOM?" scrame Edward, "Shes pregnant… how in the bloody hell do you think I'm gunna let her fight you pussy eater?"

**She's not nine months.**

"She wont fight just heal, god damn it," Hiei said,

**Still she'll be on the battle field and since when could she heal?**

"Well maybe we should wait til after she has the baby to do this…"

**So wait nine months.**

"We don't have time… I know I am the hero of it," said Link, "We need to go fucken now or Draco will be raped and fingered."

**You don't have to be a hero to know that.**

Just then the whole school could hear a scream from the hospital. I was Dally.

**She screams that loud every chapter.**

"SHIT THE BABIESES CUMMING" they all said in unsun as they to the elegator in the Hogwarts.

**I'm going to have to address that error aren't I**

**Elegator isn't a word.**

**Also, 'the babies' cumming' Enough said.**

They pushed button "Come on come on come on we don't have time for tis BULLSHIT" they said hirredly.

**No one has time for this bullshit.**

Finaly they got up but it was too late… they missed the babys crowning and umbiblical chord.

**Thank God, I don't think I would have been able to handle that.**

But the baby it was beatiful … it had red eyes (more red than Dally's, it was Hiei's eyes) and black hair with red steaks from Dally and white from Hiei, and it had fangs because it was Dally's vampire genes.

**Oh so she gave birth to a gothic baby. **

Nurse Joy

**Uh...You deal with Pokémon. Not humans. Get out of here.**

handed the baby to Hiei, "You are now the father of a new boy…" she nounced.

**Good luck.**

"Awww," he groped, "What sould we name him?"

"We should name him after Shadow who deid in his memory…"

**Shadow didn't die in a memory.**

"Okay…" Hiei angered, "His name… is Shadow Darkblood Yerameshi…"

**Who's last name is Yerameshi?**

Meanwhile Mustique and Dumbledore were around a orb (tne the one that made the room swirl and gave Daly the powers)

_**Why **_**did you give her powers?**

and the ycould see into what was happening…

**So a Stalker Camera.**

"FUCK" hurtled Mystique, "GOD FUCKING DAMIT I will teach that hot gothic midget a thing or two about fucking MY daughter…"

**Should have taught Dally about protective sex.**

"Mysqitue it just gets worse… " Dumbledore sighed "That boy… is the chosen one…"

**So she gave birth to a gothic Harry?**

**Oh and Chosen One Trope?**

**Check.**


	9. Baby Talk Time

**Hey guys. Welcome to a new chapter. I also managed to find a hitchhiker.**

**Hey guys! Mwahahaha! I have invaded this story as well!**

**You didn't invade it.**

"Mama! Mama!"

"Dally! Baby was a bottle!" Edward calked,

**So, their (Dally and Hiei) baby is a bottle.**

and so she came running in the room whering a nightie. She ass sleeping but the boys were over to babyspit the baby while she was sleeping sleeping.

**Does Sleeping sleeping mean she's sleeping in her dreams too?**

**I don't know. Maybe? Right now the boys are doing a horrible time babysitting so she can sleep.**

"Oh baby its okay," she pooed,

**Right now I got the image of her having crap for a face...**

**Ew...I got that same image...**

"I got your bottle right hur".

Edward and Hiei watced as the baby suckled donut.

**Dally, that's a donut, not a bottle.**

"Hm baby isn't liking the bottle" said Dally disappearedly, "Looks like I will have to feed breasts."

**Yeah...uh I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to switch between breastfeeding and bottle feeding.**

She pulled her boob out of the nightei and the boys jaws dropped off. "Don't gawk!" she cried

**What do you expect? You just flashed them your tits!**

and pushed the door on them so they left… the baby didn't like the milk bottles because he was a vampire and wanted to drink blood farm Dally's tits.

**Ouch...and it can't be from like an arm or finger?**

They were now living in Hagrid's house science he was dead as a doorsnail but they fixed it up so it looked like a nicer house and didn't smell of dead so much.

**Basically they stole his house.**

They also downloaded a few new rooms so the guys could live in there too.

**You can just download rooms and they appear?**

**I want to try that now.**

Dally didn't share a room with anyone (its not approprimate according to Proffessor Macognaggle)

**You could share a room with Hiei since he's your boyfriend and babys father.**

but Edward slept with Hiei and Link slept with Saskue (Dally said Hiei wasn't allowed too share a tomb with Sasuke because they would screw)

**How do you know Link and Hiei won't?**

**Dally is somewhat homophobic.**

"I'm gonna go get some cake from the golden shower," said Edward.

They had throwed the golden shower in celebration of the babyand there was lots of leftoars.

**Yeah no.**

**It's not a Golden Shower, its a Baby Shower.**

"okay see you soon," Dally said as little Shaddow suckled her teet.

Edward waked down the hall to the kitshen when a bag glue over his head… everything turned black and he was drafted…

**Into the army?**

**I don't know if that is good or bad.**

"Hey whered Edward go?" Sally asked looking around she put the baby on the floor

**Great parenting. Just leave the baby on the floor and leave.**

and ran out to the living room

**You just now noticed he was gone?**

… "THE CAKE ISNT EAT" she shouted

**Care more about cake then your best friend.**

***Slow clap***

and that's when she saw the note. IT was a random note is read:

"WE TOOK SHADOW

WEI WILL NO TRETURN HIM UNDER ANY CIRCUSAUCES UNLESS YOU KILL THAT FUCKEN BABY

-NO ONE"

**So they took Shadow, which could have been prevented had she not left him on the floor.**

**They wont return him to her unless she kills him. Logic? None.**

**And we all know who took him; the only bad guys in this story.**

"This was the wok of fucken Mystique and Dumbledore…" growled Hiei, "They fuckin took Draco now they took Edward… how are they doing this righte under our noses/!"

**No surprise, you guys aren't very observant. What about Shadow? They took him too.**

"They are the most powerful wizads, Hiei," Dally explained,

**Even though Mystique isn't a wizard.**

**She's a mutant.**

"Listen let me call my mom right now." She took our her blackberry and speed dialed her. It rang… rang…

**Your mom is evil.**

**And how is there a blackberry? I mean considering what time period Harry Potter takes place and I'm assuming its in the same time period.**

"Dally… I'm sorry to do this to you," came a voice it was obveiously a voice mail though,

**Wow, so I take it Dally is the only person to ever call Mystique or that would be an awkward voice mail to receive if you weren't Dally.**

"But you should have known better to tan your genes… you will never have a baby again because your utorus can only hold one egg and you wasted it on this demon baby.

**Dally can only have one kid?**

**Problem? None.**

It was chosen one and now it will kiss us all…

because when demons and vampires mix it produces a hellspawn that is evilest at its core.

**So Shadow is the Antichrist. I thought for sure Dally was that.**

I am takin away all the boys in your life so you cant make the mistakes sesame again…"

**But she can't get pregnant anymore, so what's the point?**

"What?" she ased her self and as she turned around… Hiei was gone too… she was all alone..

**How are they getting kidnapped when they're right next to her?!**

**She is the least observant person to exist.**

"LINK?!" she called "SASUKE?" no one answered… she began to fail nervous…

**I would be freaking out if I didn't notice people going missing next to me.**

"M Y BABY!" she tugged and ran into the room wear she put it on the floor. He was still there shaking his prismacolored hair and biting on some rattlesnakes with his sharp fangs teeth.

**Again, wonderful parenting skills here. Leaving a baby with a rattle snake. I applaud you, best mother ever.**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

**Whoa, haven't seen that since the My Immortal review.**

She plucked him and cuddled him "OH my baby thank God your still here…. Where are my boys?"

**But...they took him too...the note...THE NOTE!**

"Mama," said the baby, "Azkaban mama!"

**You shouldn't**

**be able to talk**

"What did you just say…?" she aksed serendipity. "Did you say…"

**Serendipity. Enough said.**

"Mama!" he jabbered again, "Haha Mama!"

**Soo cute. Not. Weird more like it.**

"Oh it must have been in my head…"she thought and went to go lie down…

***Cracks her head open* Yep, you're insane.**

Mystique and Dubledore watched from the orb. Hiei, Draco and Edward were tyed up in stem cells with water around them in big tubes and they were put to sleep with trancuilizers.

**So they will drown, except for Edward because he isn't even alive. **

"That fucken damn baby knows…" umbled Dumbledoor.

**How? He's a baby.**

"He is the Chosen One indeed," Mystique saught, "Soon he will lead her.. he cant quiet speak yet but when he figures will a way…"

**Just. AARCH!**

Hiei used pound on the door of the tank… "MY BABY" he thought in his head.. .the baby heard him.

**How did the baby hear him?**

"I'm coming to save you dada" the baby translated back through transfusion. "Oh Shadow," Dally said to the baby, "What are you thanking so fuckin hard about?"

**Don't swear in front of the baby.**

"Mama" said baby Shadow, "Azkaban mama…"

"I need some sheep…" she said and went to bed…

**"We need ten sheep! We are having lamb chops tonight!"**


	10. Poetry

**Was supposed to post this during the weekend but I ended up getting busy. I apologize for the delay**

"No… no… NO!" suddenly Dally jolted up from her sleep in a panic, sweat was gushing down her neck and back like a giraffe.

**Welp, that's quite an image. **

She had another nightmare about Shadow (the hedge)

**Shadow! When did you become a hedge? I thought you were a hedgehog, how could you lie to us?!**

… "It was just a dream…" she told herself.

"Mama" said baby Shadow, "Mama mama!"

**I still am slightly disturbed about Shadow who shouldn't have been able to survive after being born nine months early.**

"Oh! Why aren't you awake, honey?" she said walk towards the baby,

**Uh, the freak of nature _is_awake, idiot.**

"It's way past your bed time its like 2:60am…"

**Welcome to being a parent. Babies don't have bedtimes, they wake up when they want to and wake you up too. Enjoy getting maybe two hours of sleep each night! *Experience from babysitting baby cousin***

she said squinting to read the cock.

***Puts lead pants on* Yeah...I'm not letting her anywhere near me or my junk.**

She hadn't wearing her contacts so it was a lil hard to see..

**She wears contacts? Oh my god the first Mary Sue I've seen that wears glasses or contacts!**

"Mama where the boys mama?" asked Shadow.

**Why are you talking, lil freak?**

"Your language is getting so well!" she said

**Not even a month old and he's talking. You sure he's human? You sure he's yours? **

"But they're hear… it was all a dream silly gooch."

**I'm questioning which one of them is the 'silly gooch'.**

"No mama.. nooo!" suddenly the baby started crying madly.

**...And that is odd for a baby...how? That's what they do most of the time!**

"… hm maybe it wasn't a dream," Dally said.

**You're seriously believe that crap?**

***Sigh***

**Well, it is your man harem, you have to keep them safe.**

She checked the boys rooms… and they weren't there.

**Am I the only one who thinks they are actual boys when she calls them that? And not seventeen year old young adults/Teenagers? Well Sasuke is still a boy. He's Twelve. Years. Old.**

Then it all came back to her… he must have forgat cuz Mystique must have used stun spore through the phone to put her to sleep (her magic was that powerful).

**...Mystique doesn't have magic. She's a mutant. Not a wizard.**

"It must be up to me to save them…" said Dally,

**Sadly...We're all going to die now.**

"But what can I do? I'm only a first yeti at school…

**I don't know whether to poke fun at her being a 'yeti' apparently, or being seventeen years old and in the same grade as eleven year olds. **

I don't know enough magic to defeat the two post mowerful wizards in the world …

**Dumbledore may be, but Mystique is A MUTANT!**

besides I was away on pregnancy for a while so I am even behind!"

**And that kids is why you don't get pregnant as a teen. **

"I can hepp mama…" the baby talked. Just then the baby pushed fort his baby arms and the whore room was laminated …

**Feel ashamed, Dally. Your one week old baby knows more magic than you do. Feel the shame. **

"What? How are you doing that Shadow?" but there was more… suddenly a portkey opened in the fireplace and it turned grassy green.

**What time is it?**

**Kick the Gary Stu Baby Time!**

_*M.C does not endorse actual harm to any child or infant.*_

**Oh...uh...yeah! Sure. **

"Get in the fire mama," the baby commanded. Dally was umpires

**You play baseball now. Great. Listen to the baby.**

… she didn't know to trust the babies

**NEVER trust babies! Never! They keep you awake and it sucks when you already have sleep issues and fuck you all!**

but suddenly she heard Hiei's voice in her head. "You can trust Shadow" he said "He is The Chosen One."

**She gave birth to Harry Potter and renamed him Shadow? You bitch!**

"The Chosen one?" she looked at the baby… she looked like a normal baby boy

**...Yeah...perfectly normal. **

***Whispers* Dally is a fucking idiot.**

how was he chosen for anything? "Should I bring you too?" she asked Shadow. "No mama," he said, "I stay and watch house mama". "Okay… I'm goin in the fire now.. mama loves you baby.." she said and hopped in.

**Ditch baby in a house that apparently has snakes in it. Great parenting, the best. **

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

She warped around like gluten… it was like being drunk and high and on drugs at the same time.

**Because you would know what that is like.**

**You probably do know what its like to be drunk and high at the same time.**

She got dizzed from spinning and finally arrived at a spooky looking prison.. there were black people in cloaks and no faces. She hid behind a well… but she was right next to a chainber with a man all scraggly in it.

**No more characters...no more characters...**

"Who are you?" he wished, "I'm Serious Black."

**FUCK YOU.**

"My name is… Hally," she lied,

**Wow, great liar. Just change one letter? You could have done; "My name is Dick." **

"Do you know werewolf Dumbledore and Mystique are?"

"The heads of Azkabin?" he wishperd loudly,

**"Be quiet you idiot!"**

"I don't know anything beyond this cage… you could ask Bellalatrix the Strange though…"

**Don't. Ask. Her. She is awesome! DON'T DRAG HER INTO THIS!**

She went down to a few more prisons down to see a woman with black midnight hair and a black dress. She was playing a violin that was covered in cobwebs. She was playing Baytovin.

**You're having her play a violin?! A VIOLIN?! *Curls up in corner***

"That's very pretty," Dally compiled. "Thanks…" said Bella, "You're looking for… a blue women… and a man with a long white bear aren't you?"

"YES!" Dally, "How diddy you know that?"

**"I'm a stalker."**

"I am an oracle…" Bellatrix expunged, "This riddle will get you to them…" She handed Dally a peas of paper and it read:

**You're also the Riddler apparently. **

"Down the hall and to the right You will see a strange sight It's a curtain it's black and red Behind it lies Ed"

**...That isn't a riddle. That is a freaking set of clear instructions!**

"After you discover that clue you will find the next clue," Blatrix hisses and then Dally ran off. She thought about it… it seemed pretty legit.

***Bangs head against pole***

She went down the hall and make a left and shore enough there was black and red curtain. She inrailed it to pee…..

**You needed to use the bathroom so badly I guess.**

EDWARD CULLEN!

***Stabs him with Flame Sword* Nope.**

He was all tied up and asleep in a tanks of a water… She opend the door and he poured out… "EDWAD! EDWARD!" she freamed begging for him to be life.

**Edward is a vampire. He can't drown, remember? He's not alive, remember?**

She did mouth to moth… his lips were icey cold and it turns her on. "OMJ LIVE FUCK" she got mad and suddenly he beat.

**-He beat her to death saving them all.**  
"HUUUUUU" he gasped "HUUUUU" "Oh my fuck," Dally cried, "I thaught I lost you…" "No… HUUUU… I'm here… I'm HUUUUUUUUU okay" He gave her a hug.

**"Get- HUUUU- The fuck- HUUU- off me Huuu!" **

"Do you have the next Ritalin?" she asked. He checked his pockets… there was a piece of paper. "Let me read dis," he said.

**It better be a riddle. **

"Roses are red violets are blue Hiei will die and Draco will too All you really have to do Is walk down and take the stairs to floor two"

**These riddles suck. I got a poem for you though;**

**Roses are Red**

**Violets are blue**

**This story is shit**

**So fuck you.**

**...**

**It's a work in progress.**

"Oh no… we're runnin out of time…" said Dally, "They're going to kill Drake and my Husband!"

**When did you guys get married?**

Edward grred quatly to himself at the thought of Hiei and Dally facking… but they ran off…

**Edward. Kill them all. Save us. Be the hero you were meant to be. **

THERE WAS NO TIME TO WASTE!


	11. Plot Device Gun Plot Device Queen

The note the had said to go to florr two but for some raison they were having a hard time finding that flour.

** Okay, who took Floor Two? Who stole it?**

Edwardand Dally went down all the hallwasy in searching of that but none to come.

**Find the stairs. **

"This is impossible!" said Dally all flushed "We never gonna find that floor."

**What floor are you on? Use your Mary Sue powers to burst a whole in the roof or floor and get to Floor Two that way. It's not that hard.**

"WAIT there it is" said Edward he pushed on a wall and behind it cane a fleight of stares.

**So many eyes...staring at me...oh God! *Runs and hides***

They ran up and warp speed

**_Gotta go fast, gotta go fast, __Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, faster *Plays Gotta Go Fast*_**

(Edard was a lil faste with his vsapire powers)

**Just a little fast. But what is Dally's excuse?**

and they came upon sasuke and Hiei in tubes.

**Aw, there the two lovebirds are.**

"HIEI" Dally scanned, She ran to the jar and bangled on it and it wont hopen.

**Are they in jars or tubes?**

"SHIT we need to find a key…" Dally insisted.

***Raises sword*...yeah...a key...*slams sword against jar/tube and breaks glass* Or you can break the glass**

**...why the fuck did I just save these two!?**

She looked around and checked spits keys are.

**And checked spits keys are? What?**

She looked in the keyhole and on the wndow and she was gunna check under the carpet… but it reminded he of shadow.

**...how did a carpet remind her of Shadow?**

"I FUCKING HATE CARPETS" she said and started cryein.

**Crybaby.**

"Dally please contort yourself,"

***Looks at how twisted Dally is* Yeah, you could be a little more contorted. **

Edward begged, "Look Shadow's death was a hard on for all of us but you gota get your shit together

**He's right. You're only supposed to mourn his death for half a chapter since your a Mary Sue.**

or all of our other friends will die to death too… please Dally, for me?"

**"All right...wait why would I do it for you? You fucking murdered your girlfriend!"**

She looked up at him, she looked so pretty when she cried and the tears poured down her face like mouth vesuvias…

**I'm going to use 'like vesuvias' next time I see someone cry. I don't know what the fuck a vesuvias is, don't want to know, but I'm going to use it.**

Edward was sohappy to see her. He leaned in to kiss to but out of the coroner of her eyes she saw Hiei in the tube and turned so again he got only the cheek…

**Friendzoned. Oooh!**

"What the hell, Dally,"

**"What the hell Edward? We're in the middle of saving my boyfriend, not have sex."**

and hten he slapped her across the face like you woud a puppy when he pees on the flowers,

**Who the fuck would slap their puppy if he pees on the flowers? Who the hell would slap a puppy?! **

"All I do is ty to love you and tis is how you repay me?

**Someone is throwing a tantrum.**

Fuck you ad fuck these boys which youll probably do when you get them out

**_That _she probably will.**

… I been tryin for years to get you

**While you had a girlfriend during that time, so really, what does that say about you?**

and you are just a FILTHY WHORE" and hten he stormed out…

**Again, you had a girlfriend while you were trying to get in her pants. You aren't much better than her. **

Dally pursed into to tears again… she was all alone let to defend herself and save Hiei, Sasuke and Draco and Link but she easy powerful enough!

**You are easy powerful enough? Does that mean you are or aren't strong?**

She cried and cried, "Oh please.. what will I do to get powerfalls enough to kill my momand Dumbledore and save Hogwarts….?"

**...When did Hogwarts need saving? So far they haven't done anything evil except kidnap the boys who were hunting them down in the first plae**

Just then a woman apparated in a glowing light of dawn. It was the Faerie Queen she had purple hair and a purple dress.

**Um, what the fuck is the Fairy Queen doing here? Is she here just for the sake of a plot device?**

"Dally you have the power.. turn into the key remember?" and then she vanished

**Yes, she was there for the sake of a plot device**.

Dally was inspired and turned into the key and rammed herself into the keyhole of all the keylocks. The boys fell out and gasped for breath.

**How did she shove herself into a keyhole after turning into a key?**

"HUUUUU," said Link

"HUUUUUUU" said Hiei

"HUUUUU," said Sasuke

"HUUUUU" said Draco.

**"FUUUUU" screamed M.C**

"Oh my boys!" She ran up and recessitated all of them jungle they could breathe.

**Why is 'jungle' in there and obviously they're breathing.**

"Dally… you saved my life," said Hiei and he embraced her in a passionate affair.

**So he's having an affair with her now? Does that mean they split up or something and he's dating someone else?**

He pulled her onto his sotmache so she was lying on top of him… he sstaarted to get hard and he began to feel her up.

**Wow. Someone's horny.**

"COME ON GUYS theres no need for intercourse now," said Link, "We need to go KTFDATBM (Kill That Faggot Dumbledore and that bitch Mystique)".

**Do you really have to abbreviate it?**

He pulled them up by their collers and they ran off.

**At least Link has a brain.**

"GUYS I mustard up enough power to grant you all this spell…" sasuked said. He waved his ebony wand and everyone turnd to a little glower.

**...You're a ninja, Sasuke. Fuck magic.**

"I feel so powerfull… more powerful than hen I combined with Edward!" said Hiei.

**Shut up, you were stronger than that glittery bitch anyways.**

"Alright, guts… LETS DO THING THIS!" said Dally.

Meanwhile Edward was suffocating down the hallway

**That means he's dying right? Yay!**

when a blue woman and a bearded man stepped out before him.

**Hi you two. Watching him die too? Want popcorn?**

"Y… YOU! Your the one who tried to RAPE ME you fuck!" said Edward and he pulled out his gun

**Which he could have used to break the glass earlier and is only a plot device.**

but Mystique held out her hat.

**...You don't have a hat.**

"We're not going to finger you…" said Mystique,

***Cringes at mental image***

"You are an assert to our team actually… and you fucking hate Dally don't you?"

**I guess he does? He did slap her and scream at her.**

"I don't hate her im just a little pissed and blue balled right now," he explained.

**I do have to admit, Dally did whine about how she wanted to be Ed's first and whenever he tries to do that she does just go 'lolnope'. I can see why that would be frustrating.**

**It's still pretty pathetic that he's a 100 year virgin. **

"Shes never going to want you… shes only yusing you to be a whore," Mystique was playing with his notions,

**As well as being brutally honest.**

"And if you join us we wont rape you… but riteaid now your out numberd so your best bet is to cum with us."

**Pffft Hehehe.**

"What will I do if I don't?!" Edward barked.

**"Then the orgy will be incomplete."**

"We'll kill you…" said Dumbledore with a smirk… and just like that Edward joined their ensemble.

**So they're an ensemble, not an evil group or anything. Just...an ensemble...**

**Okay.**


	12. Harry Pothead

**I should probably stop dicking around and update this piece of shit, shouldn't I?**

Dally, Sasuke, Hirei, Draco and Link found a mother note it read:

**A mother note, mother of all the notes, all of them.**

"What is it about individuality

that set us all at odds?

If the stars fell like we have,

what would ever be left?

Silenced, unmade,

like shadows we'd run out

believing in ourselves and

move nothing.

Before they call me in,

before they empty my eyes,

I want to see what the dead see:  
I want to be the song, the girl,

and all."

**Yeah, I'm going to skip on any comment on the poem. All I'm saying is I have no fucking idea what she's talking about.**

"Wall what the cock does this men?" Heidi said and ripped the note up into pieces.

**I know what you mean, but why the fuck did you say 'Wall what the cock'?**

"Nook don't!" said Dally

**You heard her! Nook, don't do it! you're better then Kindle, and you know it!**

"well I goes its okay we can just look up and read it again…" Dally

**Did you just break the Fourth Wall?**

and them all looked up and read the note from the story

**You just broke the Fourth Wall?!**

(lol breaking the 3rd wall).

**YOU DO NOT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL! ONLY DEADPOOL CAN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!**

"I still don't know what it means" sais Link…

**Neither do I, neither do I**

"Not evin my Kialegee in medicine can produce enough to elude to this memorabilia!"

**The fuck did you just say? Someone get this kid a translator!**

"We need to take this to a mote powerful wizad of all tiem…" said Sasuke, "Harry Potter…"

**Hahah, Harry is the most powerful wizard of all time? When did this happen? Pfft, hahaha! **

They rerunned back to Hogywarts by taking a patronis

**You do know Patronus' are only _partially_ tangible, right. I don't think they're used as transportation**

(Dally took a lion, Sasuke took a chimpansee, Hiei took a rollerbear, and Link took a horse.)

**Yeah, you don't choose what your Patronus looks like, it matches the caster. Dallys would be a toad, Sasuke would be rat, Hiei would be a fish, Link would be a...animal that sucks.**

that they cast through there wands. But they were being faulted… a shadows steered earily down their footpricks.

**Being followed, probably cuz they broke out of a prison.**

"I have em now," Bellatricks said through a walkie-talkie to Dum. An dMyst. (abbreviated for faster).

**Because Author is lazy.**

"They are going back to Hogwarts … they are looking for… The Other Chosen One."

**You mean the _Original _Chosen One.**

"It can't fucken be," said Dum., "If thay find out Shadow and Harry Poter are both Chosen Ones theyn they will combine them with fu sion ho and kill the fuck outta us…"

**Why would Harry attack Dumbledore, he couldn't hurt his father figure. Also if Dally doesn't know that Harry is The boy Who Lived, she is the biggest fucking idiot on the face of this planet.**

"I just have one cuestion," Bellatrix asked, "What do you want to do this four?"

"I cannot tell you until you level up Bella," Dumbledore exampled,

**You're only a level six, to know crucial information you need to be a level ten.**

"But you will after kill Harry… do not dashpot me dearest."

**Dashpots are bad, Bellatrix, they are bad,**

He blew her a kiss and she turned off. He almost lost the grape but found them cuz its like four people they kinda make a lot a noise… they got back on the boat to the great hall and saw Harry in his chess board playing with himself.

**Because his friends kind of disappeared when they found out Dally was coming here, Harry wasn't fast enough was got stuck.**

"Harry we need to ask you a favour." Said Dally…

**"Whatever it is; no."**

"Listen I'm really busy I have OWLS to study for," he said tireslsy.

**Hey, he's refusing her yay!**

"You don't need fucken owls," said Hiei pissily, "You fuckin have the sarserers stone which means you don't fukcen need it now hear us out okay?"

**Wow, someone is demanding. *Holds up metal bloodstained pipe* I can fix that though.**

**Also he doesn't have the stone, in the movie it sorta melted or something. In the book Nicolas (It's creator) destroyed it.**

**Either way the Stone is destroyed, Harry doesn't have it.**

"I Guess your right…" he sighed and stood up, "But this better be good I don't have time to waste on you mudbloods."

**Wow, Harry is kind of a jerk.**

**I like this version.**

"Listen Dumbledore is trying to rape people here," said Dally (she sued her feminine charms to while him over)

**Wow, that was an indirect confession to her being a whore.**

, "And now that hes teamed up with the most powerful wizard Myshtique

**Who isn't an actual wizard.**

its gonna be way worse… she can transferm into ANYTHING and so can I but shes gonna use his powers for bad."

**No one cares if you can transform, dally**

"no FUCK YOU FUCKING WANKER TWAT," screamed Harry at the top of his tongue,

**He's screaming from the tongue not the lung.**

"Dumbledore would NEVER DO THAT. He's my DAD"

**He's right guys, Dumbledore would never rape someone.**

"Hes not your dad, Harry," said Hermione coming out from under him and putting a hand on him,

**"Shut up! He was my father figure!"**

"James was your dad, he was murdered by Voldemort remember? Are you horcruxed?"

**And Hermione has lost intelligence.**

"Nigga FUCK no," said Harry "Im sorry he never acts like this he must be fucked up maybe he's on acid," said Hermione.

**Dumbledore don't do drugs. Neither does Harry.**

"Yeah Hermione and I have both been smoking some pots," said Ron, "But we didn't thank Harry would get into it or worse…"

**Wow, I no longer like these guys.**

"FUCK YOU ALL" said Harry and flew away on his Broomstick. "Oh god dammit Hermione," said Ron slapping her,

**Wow Ron, don't hit your girlfriend! *Slaps Ron***

"You fucking did it aging just like wane you confarted him about the needles…"

"The needles?" Dally asked, "What needles?"

**Did you really need to ask what needles, like it wasn't obvious what Ron meant?**

"Harry has been using Haroine…" Ron admittered… "A lot of people have now that DUmble dore is gone and look its just not a good time."

**So, thanks to Dally for chasing Dumbledore out, the entire student body has started doing drugs.**

***Slow clap***

**Good fucking job Dally.**

They all walked away. "Were not ever gonna get that bloody Harry Pothead to join us hestoo fucked up on drugs," said Link.

**HARRY IS NOT A POTHEAD YOU FUCKING BITCH!**

"Well maybe we will, hes already a fuckin jewtwat maybe we can just fuck him up more to confince him hes on our side."

**Did you call him a Jew and twat? Seriously?**

"How will we do that? we killed Snape remember? And his dick," said Sasuke.

**Because when you kill a man, his penis is alive so you have to kill that too!**

"That's still hope though… we have… UMBRUDGE," said Link. "No she's dead your mormon," said Sasuke,

**Link isn't a Mormon. **

"We need Lupin." "Okay!"

**So, Remus is a druggie? Wolfman is gonna have some 'splaining to do.**


End file.
